Crutches, Tatty Bags & Tiny Dogs

I could blog about a highly professional trip to London to gain ideas and new perspectives for my lovely clients and classes... But where would be the fun in that? Oh no, far better to tell you the haphazard exploits, the awkward moments and the quintessentially "lottieisms" that are the curse of being me ... and having always that little bit too much to say! In the pursuit of keeping fresh, and voracious for a new challenge, I signed myself up for two auditions in the big city, and like Dick Whittington setting off for an adventure with a handkerchief on a stick for a bag, off I trotted with my tatty Waitrose bag and a head full of dreams. On realising that I couldn't find my debit card and was very shortly about to miss my train (it arrived on the platform during my flapping), the dreams swiftly evaporated, and in its place mindless panic ensued. Luckily I have a very patient, (and extremely used to these type of scenarios) husband, who quickly salvaged the situation, and we both bundled on to the train, him as usual wincing at my ineptitude, me channeling silent self despair. 

Regardless, we made it to Paddington and headed to my first interview in a rather swanky location. Had it not decided to pour down with rain, drenching us from head to toe, perhaps I would have felt a little more prepared, but hey, the weather being an act of God and all that.... In I squelched, and waited for Head of Operations and HR, perched awkwardly on the edge of my seat, whilst trying to appear completely at home and comfortable ... I was going for the "I'm actually really not nervous, and feeling complete nonchalant, whilst trying to avoid staring at everyone, and instead suddenly becoming intensely interested with my phone, which utterly fascinates me" face. After ten minutes my saviour emerged hobbling towards me on a crutch, now, I have this terrible habit of being ridiculously over familiar with strangers so instead of saying 'hello, pleased to meet you', decided to draw attention to her crutch and exclaimed "oh dear, what the hell have you managed to do to yourself then?" 

PAUSE. DEATHLY SILENCE.

What then ensued was quite possibly one of the most cringeworthy moments of my life (although there have been many), in which to my horror I realised, that this poor lady had a twisted hip and was actually disabled. I had just asked a disabled person what the hell had she done to herself, oh GOD.  The interview itself was delightful, she was delightful, the place was delightful, I on the other hand had just portrayed myself as a total heartless bitch, I was not delightful, I felt like the baddest person that ever lived. NB. I hear back in two weeks if I will be called for a second interview, shall we take bets?!

Audition number two. On opening the door to the studio I am greeted with the most ridiculous, the most gorgeous little dog, who I pretty much throw myself upon and demand of its owner question after question about the breed, name, etc. The owner then notices my tatty Waitrose bag about to split and suggests she gifts me one of her bags - how kind, I think, expecting her to pass me a new plastic carrier, instead, she gets one of the yummy Barre Core totes and slings it my way. Being, particularly dim, I still think little of this and bounce on down to the audition room waiting for our interviewer to come in. I think you know what's coming.... So in walks the lady with the dog who is introduced to us as only the bobbing LA creator of the amazing Barre Core. 

In summary, I have learnt so many new moves and have a whole plethora of ideas to bring back to class, oh, and I'm a complete cretin who should never be allowed out on her own and is a constant embarrassment!